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Black&White

by Bottom Line

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1.
Out Of Time 03:35
Does happiness ever find its way back or do we become so deluded to believe just that? I feel like I’m shackled, confined by chains. Tonight’s not my night, today wasn’t my day. No solid ground to be found. No peace of mind, just out of time. Ambitions failed, that ship has fucking sailed. Today wasn’t my day; nothing ever wants to go my way. Tonight wasn’t my night; nothing ever wants to go right for me. Out of time, out of love, out of life and out of death, took away my heart and now there’s nothing left. Out of time, out of love, out of life and out of death, took away my heart and left me only with this. Nothing ever lasts; you and I are now a thing of the past. I can’t face the cards that I’ve been dealt, out of time and out of place. Nothing to show; regression to repression till misery is all I know. How can I stand on my own two feet when you left me feeling incomplete? What I wanted, what I needed from you was just a little compassion, something you couldn’t do. What I wanted, what I needed, for your heart to be mine; that ship has sailed, I’m out of fucking time.
2.
So sick of living in the depths of despair, been screaming for years but no one seems to care. You asked for my heart but there’s nothing there, you turned my dreams into fucking nightmares. The light of day knows better than to shine on my soul, been searching for years but I have nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run in this fight that I can’t win, in this war that’s just begun. I don’t know where I’m going; I don’t know where I’ve been. I’ve lost sight of all I was and won’t accept what I’m becoming. A failure, a fuck up, a spreading disease. A nothing of a nothing, just a product of society. I can forgive but I can’t forget you. You’ve left your mark on me but I’ve struck you down. You’ll rot away in the back of my mind searching for something that will never be found. There’s nothing for you here, I abandoned you when you abandoned me. Watch the path you walk but walk away.
3.
Black&White 02:25
Cluttered with bullshit, all this bullshit in my head. My head’s a loaded gun and the target’s everything. The pathway to the same day that I follows’ black and white. The black and white shines through my eyes, burns everything in sight. Alone. Forever alone. My life’s become monotony where everything’s the same. The same old life, the same old strife, the same old fucking same. The world I’ve come to know filled to the very top with spite. My hands are tied, my ears are closed, and my eyes are shut so tight. Alone. Always on my own. Don’t tell me how to think, how to act in a world of strife. I refuse to be an anchor on everyone’s life. Every war has two sides but mine are the same, me against the world and the world against me. I fear that there’s no ground for me to walk upon this earth when all I see is nothing, or is that just what I’m worth? I’m shattered glass amongst this class of rejects and drones. Until the day I find my way, forever alone.
4.
I’m scared to death but I’m still clawing my way out of this grave, I won’t let this be the death of me. I keep climbing to the top just to fall back down. It’s getting harder just to keep my head above the ground. This is not the life I deserve; this is not the life I choose to lead. It’s what’s been given to me; it’s what I’m stuck with. Life’s kicked me down too many times and I’ve had enough of it. Save me from myself, don’t let me drown. These waters won’t drown me; I crawl out of a sea of insanity. The water rises up above my head as the rest of the world leaves me for dead. These walls are caving in but I’ll still fight my way out, this world is suffocating me with hopelessness and doubt. Stuck between the brink of what is real and what is fake and what I am. I am nothing anymore and that’s all I’ve ever been. I’ll escape these shallow waters on my own, the only way I have ever known.

about

Recorded in January 2012 at NK Studios in Tuckerton, NJ.
bottomlinehc@gmail.com / facebook.com/bottomlinehc

credits

released April 14, 2012

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Bottom Line Manalapan, New Jersey

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